Metal, Hardcore, Indie, Rock
John Matalone of VCTMS releases lengthy statement addressing allegations against Meredith Henderson
VCTMS vocalist John Matalone has issued an extensive statement addressing recent allegations directed at drummer Meredith Henderson, as per lambgoat. These allegations emerged in the context of guitarist Mike Joseph Clampitt’s departure from the band. On October 8th, Clampitt announced his resignation from the Illinois-based metalcore ensemble after a tenure of five years. He accused Henderson of engaging in abusive conduct towards bandmates, crew members, and others involved in the group’s touring activities.
Clampitt’s accusations encompassed verbal abuse, physical object throwing, withholding of payments, and inappropriate utilization of band funds. He also admitted that both he and Matalone had failed to intervene, thereby enabling the alleged misconduct. In response, Henderson issued a concise statement indicating her intention to reflect on the allegations prior to providing a more comprehensive public statement.
Matalone has provided his perspective on the situation, recognizing challenges related to Henderson’s conduct while also taking responsibility for his management of conflicts within the band. In his statement, he characterized Henderson as a person capable of generosity and inclusiveness, yet also temperamental and challenging to reason with. He admitted to observing emotional outbursts and reactions he deemed disproportionate to the context. Matalone noted that he often acted as a mediator between Henderson and others during his 13-year tenure with VCTMS, including resolving disputes among band members and touring staff.
In the 13 years as a member of VCTMS, I never imagined I’d find myself having to make a statement quite like this. In light of Mike’s recent post, I feel it’s necessary to share my thoughts and feelings in an independent and honest way. For the sake of clarity and brevity, I will be speaking only on things related to his statement.
First, I want to apologize for my silence. This has been rather difficult to process, let alone figuring out the words to write. I needed time to reflect on what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it. More importantly, I want to make sure that what I share comes from a place of honesty and accountability and not in retaliation or defensiveness. I also want to apologize to anyone who has been personally affected by their experiences working with or interacting with Meredith or myself.
Over the years as a member of VCTMS and as Meredith’s friend, I’ve seen her at her highest and her lowest. Touring with her has had its ups and downs but it’s always had its great moments.
I’ve always known Meredith to be an emotionally charged person and someone who wears her emotions on her sleeve. When she’s at her best she can be incredibly generous and intentional about making sure people feel included. At the same time, I’ve also witnessed her crash outs and when her emotions have gotten the best of her. Some of those reactions were understandable, while others were disproportionate to the situation.
She can be stubborn, temperamental, difficult to reason with and sometimes difficult to be around. I’m not going to deny or excuse any of those things.
Throughout my time in the band, I’ve often found myself in the role of mediator, middle man or “arbitrator” in a sense. I’ve listened to the problems people have had about Meredith just as I’ve listened to the problems she’s had about others. Many of the issues that came to me on the road were brought to me first, and I tried my best to hear everyone out, process, and communicate those concerns to the people involved.
There were times when I disagreed with Meredith and felt it was necessary to call her out one on one. Some of those conversations led to intense arguments between us but we would often take the time to work through our disagreements and come to an understanding.
In many cases, that led to her addressing the issue and moving forward.
I also recognize that trying to be the person in the middle doesn’t always mean you handle things the right way. There were times when my involvement have left people in the camp feeling unheard, misrepresented, or as though their feelings weren’t being taken seriously. My intentions don’t outweigh that impact. My approach to mediating these situations has led to some feeling dismissed or let down, I take responsibility for my part in that and I sincerely apologize.
Touring and working together hasn’t always been easy, and I won’t pretend otherwise. There have been good experiences as well as difficult ones and I understand that people can walk away from the same situation with very different perspectives. I don’t want my experiences to overshadow or invalidate anyone else’s. Everyone deserves the space to speak honestly about what they’ve experienced, and those experiences deserve to be taken seriously.
At the end of the day, I intend to fulfill the commitments the band currently has. After that, we’ll be taking some much needed time to reflect, reevaluate, and reassess what the future looks like for us. I do not feel like Meredith has abused me in the band nor do I think she’s inherently a bad person. I believe she is capable of doing what is right to better herself and she will have to put in that work, consistently. At this point, I intend to remain in the band, though I can’t speak to what the future will hold. But I sincerely hope that everyone involved, from the people onstage to those working behind the scenes, continues to grow and flourish in their respective fields.
During the time away, I will be taking an honest dive into the personal issues and patterns of behavior that have affected my personal life and the people around me. My dishonesty and irresponsibility have caused irreparable damage to friendships and to people I loved.
While it has always been my intention to hold myself accountable, I understand that my actions have not consistently reflected that intention. As I’ve said before, intent does not outweigh impact. The consequences of my actions extend far beyond myself and that the hurt placed on those affected is 10x worse than my own. Now that I’ve been home from tour, I look forward to continuing therapy and laying the ground work to be a better man for my myself.
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this.
I understand that there are still questions about what comes next, and we’ll do our best to be transparent as we navigate this.
Thank you,
John
To Mike: Thank you for being such an integral part of this band and for the memories we’ve shared over the years. There are moments from this chapter of my life that I wouldn’t trade for anything, and I’m grateful to have shared them with you. I genuinely wish you nothing but the best in whatever comes next.