Metal, Hardcore, Indie, Rock
You can now purchase a vinyl that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s lady parts
Punk band Private Function has made a “scratch and sniff” version of their new record that smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina, a move that has been planned for five years. Thanks to some innovative album titles and marketing, the band has recently gained recognition outside of their native nation. “St. Anger” from their 2019 debut was a reference to the highly criticised Metallica album of the same name. The album “370HSSV 0773H” (turn your screen over to read) was released by Private Function in 2023. For the band, the last six months have been really significant. They released a new album titled “ﯞ_(ツ)_/¯” on May 23 in addition to opening for Green Day on three dates of The Saviors Tour in March. Prior to the release of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, Private Function revealed four vinyl versions. While the more costly fourth “goopy” option was supposed to be perfumed, the other three options gave a variety of colour options. Following days of keeping the scent a secret, guitarist Lauren Hester of Private Function posted a video to the band’s Instagram account revealing that the record “smells like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina.” The inspiration came from a candle called “This Smells Like My Vagina,” which the actress sold as part of her 2020 Goop collection. The candle was well received. She continues by referring to the entire situation as “classist” and explains that the band believes that the scent should be accessible to everyone.
We immediately tried to buy one, but due to the overwhelming demand, it sold out instantly. They now sell for over $700 each.
According to Hester, the group contacted a French perfumer who managed to replicate the unique aroma of Paltrow’s candle. Geranium, bergamot, cedar, damask rose, and ambrette seed are among the claimed smells that comprise the mixture. The smell combination was then added to a limited edition pressing of Private Function‘s new album in collaboration with a record plant. They’re currently sold out, but you can get some other vinyls, although with a plain old scent!