Tim Lambesis opens up about the current members of his band

Tim Lambesis, the controversial singer of As I Lay Dying, didn’t exactly have a quiet November last year, as reported by theprp. Unsettling home surveillance footage of him and his then-wife surfaced as his metalcore band’s lineup disintegrated once more amid a mass departure of musicians. In response, Lambesis made accusations against his now-ex-wife, but his former bandmates later disclosed the unsettling information that caused them to sever their relationship with him. Since then, Tim has rebuilt and relaunched As I Lay Dying once more, but with an entirely different roster this time. Lambesis’ birthday is November 21st, and the musician, who is currently 45 years old, has thought back on the conflict and upheaval that surrounded him when he turned 44.

Last year’s birthday was the worst of my entire life. I was carrying more anxiety and depression than I’d ever known — feeling trapped, threatened, and unsure if there was even a safe way to make the changes I desperately needed. It was dark. And the thought of wishing I had never been born was something I wrestled with more than I’d ever admit.

But facing that fear forced huge transformations in both my personal and professional life. Slowly, the weight started to lift, and meaningful connection with the people closest to me began to give me life again.

This year looks completely different. I’m in a place where I genuinely appreciate — and feel appreciated by — the people around me. There’s a deeper level of friendship in my life than I’ve ever known, and a sense of peace I’ve been missing for most of my life.

I get to have weekly dinners with my whole family. I fall asleep knowing my needs are met without having to plead, over-explain, or even ask. That community lines up beautifully with the personal work I’ve been doing — sometimes alone, sometimes with the guidance of someone who really knows what they’re doing.

And on top of that, I get to finish writing all the music I started earlier this year with a group of guys I’ve known for a long time — guys who took the time to understand me even more deeply when I was at my lowest. They deserve to be part of the good things ahead.

Thank you to everyone who reached out for my birthday. I’m sorry for the slow replies — social anxiety still sneaks up on me, especially with the pressure of our phones — but your messages meant the world. I felt loved. And I’m grateful.

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