Marko Hietala on leaving Nightwish: “I was already having regrets when I left’

In a recent interview with Metal Global‘s Jorge Botas, former Nightwish bassist/vocalist Marko Hietala discussed his feelings about leaving the band four years ago. When asked about any regrets, Hietala was candid about his experience.

“Of course. I was regretting it already when I was leaving but it wasn’t just Nightwish. I actually left everything. My struggle with depression and anxiety was constant and had been getting progressively worse over the years.”

He explained that the breaking point came as COVID restrictions were lifting and tour plans were being discussed.

“I realized, ‘I don’t want to go. I’m feeling too bad. And if I go on the road, it’s just going to be stressful. I’m going to be alone.'”

Hietala revealed that his decision to move to Spain was part of a larger effort to understand his mental health struggles. He said:

“I wanted to leave everything, all the responsibilities, to find out what was wrong with me.”

Through consultations with psychiatrists in both Spain and Finland, he received an unexpected diagnosis: ADHD.

“One of them suggested that ‘you might have ADHD.’ I was like, ‘How does that relate to depression and anxiety?’ They told me to read about it, and I did.” The diagnosis helped explain many of his past struggles, including feelings of social isolation and difficulty managing daily tasks.

“Everything was a mess. The social isolation, it’s a slow way to death. We know that loneliness is a killer. I’d learned to deal with it since childhood, but it doesn’t necessarily make it easier.”

Today, Hietala reports feeling much better, finding relief in understanding his condition.

“It’s a relief to know that there are things in your history and in yourself that you just cannot help. That’s what you are,” he explained. “You can forgive yourself for the things that went wrong, and you can also forgive quite a lot of other people for not understanding.”

“You get a load off your chest,” he concluded, expressing how the diagnosis has helped him come to terms with both his past decisions and current circumstances.