Killswitch Engage guitarist Adam D talks about his depression during the pandemic: “The Worst Year Of My Life”

Author Samuel Järvinen - 31.8.2021

The COVID pandemic has certainly affected the mental health and well-being of many people. Isolation, cancellation of events, economic hardship and anxiety about the state of the world are high.

Now guitarist Adam D of metalcore band Killswitch Engage opens up about his own depression during the corona. Adam opened up on the Stroke The Fire podcast, hosted by Killswitch Engage’s Jesse Leach and DJ Matt Stocks.

“It started out almost as thinking it was gonna be a good thing for my headspace. I remember we got on a conference call with management, and I’m, like, ‘Yeah! We get a break! We finally get a break! COVID forever!’ [Laughs] I was, like, ‘This is gonna be great. We’ll take some time and we’ll take care of ourselves, and when we get back we’ll be in an even more positive headspace. And we’ll tour non-stop when we get back to it.’ And then I think once the realization of ‘COVID’s not going anywhere’ hit, I was, like, ‘Oh, no. Oh, no.’ And then the loneliness. My girlfriend works, like, 12-hour days, so I never fucking see her. So the loneliness started eating me alive. Getting injured again — I hurt my back really bad again. Going to the hospital — all that shit. Fuck, I was [on a] downward spiral.

“I guess I never really realized how dependent I am on human interaction after all. I get so burnt out on it being on tour, because you’re always around other people, so I always just thought I preferred being alone. And then when I was alone for that long, just completely by myself, I fucking went crazy.”

You can listen to the whole conversation below.